Wall Street my street

I did not go to Wall St, I am sorry about this. Another time perhaps.

I ruminated the topic of Occupy with Seth Brown last night. It's made me thoughtful today about the topic while spending a rare morning by myself in an unfamiliar NJ town. It is good to visit a place I have no visual memory for other than good thoughts with my friends. My mind is a visual mine field, and I needed a break from the places I have visual explosions.
I just read this article which helped me to put Seth's words into perspective.

When studying the hegemony of our richer/poorer society and how dominance forms, I know that the dominated and oppressed can then become the dominant force. I know that through a sort of Hegelian model the thesis and antithesis can merge becoming the synthesis. (which isn't where it ends, but that's a whole other story)  I joke about my evil plans because I know that there is not real Good and Evil, it's a sliding scale. I know I'd like to side with good, but it's all on a scale that can switch. Would the poor people like to be rich? Being poor makes one very tired. Working hard can apply to a rich person that makes it rich by working hard. Who works harder? Who is more creative? Who is oppressed? Both? And once you have reached the other side, would you like to ignore the fact that you were once on the poor side? How about the other way around? Doing fine financially, then slip back into the uneasy burdens, the market gone wrong, the mistaken choices.  Obviously I question mark for the point of a question mark, to raise the question that I can answer myself with many many words and thoughts here. But it's really not up to me. It's up to Us, and We can't really make choices. But being blessed/burdened by seeing the big picture only helps perspective, not the causes. Not the winning teams.



I say change needs to happen, and will.

I received bad health news in the mail on Friday and need to have tests. A couple of hours later the man I made dreams with changed his mind and finally told me. What I thought was happening and dreamed of happening, won't. The happiness I built has been replaced with a new reality. That new reality is undefined, but just as real as the future plans I had built through love and respect and admiration. That doesn't make those plans any less real. They were real until Friday. They were what I wanted until Friday. I cannot erase them. I've been alive on this planet long enough to understand change, and when to cry and how to cry. I've used this opportunity to mourn what I once dreamed. The news on Friday changed me forever. So I will become a new person, and in that becoming I will learn to be stronger. I can only be stronger and I'm not going backwards.

I've been told that I sparkle. That I have conviction: attractive conviction. I believe it is because I use change to become stronger. I believe it is because I embrace change. I believe it is because I embrace life, even when days like Friday happen. I can learn to make a new dream and become just as happy and mystified as I was before, I can use my thoughts and visions and dreams and use this to change. I think the people that see that in me and are not frightened by it are geniuses.