My mother is the queen of all tough love. Shake it off. Get over it. Get over yourself. Stop trying so hard and it will be easier.
How can I be a good girlfriend if he isn't even there? How can I stop beating myself up for him leaving if I am not the reason. How can I keep reading his Facebook about how happy everyone is about something that makes me so sad? You know that feeling you get like you are being shot with an arrow through your heart? I feel that every time one of his friends I'll never meet who he will spend all his time with in Antarctica virtually high fives him and talks about how glad they will be that he is coming back. People that have lived in the same place with him, and I never have. People that seem to know him better than I do somehow, even though I've been dating him for a year. And they all sound so encouraging. "I knew you couldn't stay away" they say. Well how come I didn't even know? Am I a fool?
My dreams haven't changed. My dreams are to have a family with him. To live with him. To have a good life for me and my daughter and him. His priorities are now to go there and be happy and he seems so happy and I am so sad.
